"Lets Not Get to Know Each Other Better" by Joel Walkowski is a story in the New York Times column Modern Love and I think it does a good job in describing modern love in today's generation. The author wrote about how traditional dating is no longer really done. Instead of calling up a girl and asking her out, you can send her a text or a comment on her Facebook wall. He stated that its far easier to hook up and hang out. Casual sex is now replacing committment. Friends with Benefits is the new trend. Hookups happen then the next day its back to normal. Even I've observed and experience these things. I know males and females that allocate being young and wanting to have fun as the reason for their search for sexcapades and nothing else. I have "talked" to guys and no actual speaking took place but rather hundreds of text messages and IMs. Valentines Day is coming up, remember those little sweet heart candies with things like "Hug Me" "Kiss Me" "Be Mine"? Now they have "Text Me" and "Tweet Me".
The author writes about how he'll be hooking up with the same person and then will linger over the Facebook "Relationship Status" and whether its time to take that jump from a good time to committment (because of course once its on Facebook its real, you know). I've lingered over that button myself recently...
Joel Walkowski talks about how we shrink ourselves out of fear and instances where "I Love You" should have been said, a joke was made instead. Just the other day this very same thing was the topic of a heated discussion between me and someone.
Joel writes in his story, "Casual is sexy. Caring is creepy." I'll admit I have thought that, not too long ago. But I know that its not true. I know deep down theres a hopeless romantic in me that hates all this "chivary is dead" B.S. but thats also been sort of "brainwashed" into the norms of today's society.
And then I think about what it will be like when Aden is dating (uh-oh). I really wish he could be a teenager in the 1950s where it was normal to bring flowers to the girl and her mother and get a stern talking to from daddy, and perhaps go down to Lovers Lane and maybe--just maybe--get to first base. But hes going to be a teenager in the 2020s. If things like "sexting" is the norm of today, what will it be in 15-25 years???
Sigh. I just wrote a loooong reply to your post, and in trying to get it posted, poof! Gone! I hate it when that happens.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, it is so scary to think about how it's going to be when our little ones are teenagers and young adults. Relationships are ever-changing, especially in this new age of social networking. It changes the rules of engagement. And as for the heart candy - are you seriuos?! Sigh. Modern love for ya. ;)
Btw - feel better!
Wow "text me" thats not cute what happened to "I love you"? But then again that is a phrase thrown around alot and has lost a great deal of its meaning. I wonder how things will be when I eventually have kids.
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